How instead of Why

When life is hard, we often find ourselves harping on “why” questions: “Why is this happening to me?” In those moments, Elaine Fox (author of Switch Craft: The Hidden Power of Mental Agility) suggests letting go of the “why” and asking “how” instead: “How can I change this situation?” Or perhaps you’re already asking a “how” question, but the wrong one: Instead of “How do I stop working so much?,” she explains, try an easier question: “How can I find time to go to the gym?”

Kira Newman writing in Greater Good

Was there nothing worth fighting for?

You’ve probably heard the story of the guy who climbs up the steep steps to the Golden Gate to presents himself to St. Peter and St. Peter says, “So, show me your scars!” “Scars?” the guy says, “Uh, I...I don’t have any scars..” “No scars?!” St. Peter asks incredulously.” Was there nothing worth fighting for?”

What is worth fighting for? As the American rock singer, actor, author and poet, Henry Rollins says, “Scar tissue is stronger than regular tissue. Realize the strength and move on...”  

Gail Blanke

Is Learning a Struggle?

Embrace the fact that significant learning is often, or even usually, somewhat difficult. You will experience setbacks. These are signs of effort, not of failure. Effortful learning changes your brain, making new connection, building mental models, increasing your capacity. The implication of this is powerful: your intellectual abilities lie to a large degree within your own control. Knowing that this is so makes the difficulties worth tackling. 

Peter C. Brown and Henry L. Roediger III, Make It Stick: The Science of Successful Learning

The Ultimate Adventure

Time spent in the neutral zone is an opportunity for inner reorientation. There’s no time limit on your stay and no certainty of what the “goal” is while you remain there. More than a readjustment to the “new you,” it’s where the real business of transitions takes place. Most people don’t recognize it for what it is but will look back later and see there was significant transformation taking place. It is a time of greater sense of self and lesser sense of what’s going on around us, what all the circumstances mean. We become more acutely aware of what’s going on the inside more than on the outside.

Even Jesus needed a retreat into the desert to gain a sense of who he was – and thus, what he was here to do. It is in these “moments of discovery” that we are mostly likely find God because we are "open" in a way we are not when caught up in every day life.

It starts with letting go of what no longer fits or is adequate to the life stage you are in. Some people never fully let go of those ill-fitting parts or else run back to these broken connections. May it never be said of us that we failed to meet this challenge. Here's to transitions that take us into uncharted waters without a map. This is the ultimate adventure.

Stephen Goforth (born April 24)

What Growth Requires

Growth requires hard work. The world is a complex place. We all become creatures of habit in the ways we think and act. To learn is to strip away those deeply ingrained habits of the mind. To do so requires that we push ourselves, that we keep building and rebuilding, questioning, struggling, and seeking.

Ken Bain, What the Best College Students Do