The Good Myth

Six developmental trends may be identified as a standard or a criterion against which we may compare a particular personal myth. Over the course of adolescence through middle adulthood, a personal myths should ideally develop in the direction of increasing (1) coherence, (2)  openness, (3) credibility, (4) differentiation, (5) reconciliation, and (6) generative integration. The prototype of the “good story” in human identity is one that receives high marks on these six narrative standards.  

Dan McAdams, The Stories We Live By

The History of the Self

To create a personal myth is to fashion a history of the self. A history is an account of the past that seeks to explain how and why events transpired as they actually did. History is much more than a chronological listing of names, dates, and places. It is a story of about how the past came to be and how, ultimately, it gave birth to the present. It is a truism that the historians understanding of the present colors the story he or she will tell about the past. When the present changes, the good historian may rewrite the past— not to distort or conceal the truth, but to find one that better reflects the past in light of what is known in the present and what can be reasonably anticipated about the future. 

Dan McAdams, The Stories We Live By

Finding Yourself is not how it works

“Finding yourself” is not really how it works. You aren’t a ten dollar bill in last year’s winter’s coat pocket. You are also not lost. Your true self is right there, buried under cultural conditioning, other people’s opinions, and inaccurate conclusions you drew as a kid that became your beliefs about who you are. “Finding yourself” is actually returning to yourself. An unlearning, an excavation, a remembering who you were before the world got its hands on you. 

Emily McDowell