The loyal opposition
/One very outspoken, controversial minister was finally able to reduce his own anxiety when he began to think of his detractors as the “loyal opposition.” As pompous as the phrase sounds, it helped him stay out of a polarizing position with other members of the congregation who in the past got “togetherness” with him by “loyally” attacking the attackers. By conveying that he thought their attacks on him or a sign of duty rather than subversion, he eliminated almost completely from his own behavior the anxious feedback that is necessary to sustain chronic conditions.
One important distinction must be made, however, between family systems and work systems. In a family system, efforts to reduce anxiety by dealing only with process and totally avoiding content issues, even if it makes others more upset for a while, generally will lead to fundamental change in the long run. A work system, however, can kick us out before change comes about. in a work family, therefore, it is sometimes necessary to touch upon content to some extent so as not to create so much havoc that we lose our jobs.
Edwin Friedman, Generation to Generation